Blood Moon Blues

Silhouette of couple kissing under full moon. Guy kiss girl hand on full moon silhouette background. Valentine`s day decor concept. Silhouette of loving couple kissing against the moon

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This morning I find myself unable to sleep sipping cold water and listening to Ambrosia (The anthology) with the song “How Much I Feel” on inescapably on repeat. Inescapably….Like the song, that word is binding me. I can’t escape my Blood Moon Sunday 2019 experiences. Not the physical ones, the emotional ones and, their psychological effects.

 

Unlike everyone else, I had no desire to view the Blood Moon. I was back in South Florida visiting friends and really didn’t and don’t understand the excitement behind it.  But, I felt it. Yes, I know I’m rambling. I’m getting there….wait for it.

One particular friend I was overly excited to spend time with. We dated while I lived in Florida. We argued and disagreed while I lived in Florida. And, I closed him out and added his headstone to the already overcrowded backyard in my memory (Short story; I’ll write about it on a later date. Just know my cutoff game is swift). Still there was something in the air it seemed, calling my soul to see him this weekend.  And our schedules managed to sync on Blood Moon Sunday 2019.

Now, let me clarify something. I’m single, There are some men from my past I prefer not to entertain for any reason what so ever. But not this one. I can’t shake him from my Spirit. I need to see him each and every time I visit S. Florida. I can’t even try to explain why because there were so many discrepancies in our situation that I can’t even define it as a relationship.  As far as I know, my friend is single. I haven’t asked. I don’t want to give him a reason to lie to me. Lies are the deal breaker with me. As the saying goes, “scratch a liar, catch a thief…”. Even the simplest lie will have me questioning everything you say to me from that point on.  Trust ain’t an easy thang….

“I don’t know how
This whole business started
Of you thinkin’ that
I had been untrue”

Late Sunday evening the air was cool and thick in Fort Lauderdale. From the moment he let me know he was on his way to see me it felt like I was inhaling and exhaling ice cold fresh milk. At the same time I was sweating. Not profusely. Just slightly, across the forehead.  My body temperature was rising. Gone was my normally cool composure. I was excited. And like the Pointer Sisters so energetically put it “I’m about to lose control and I think I like it, I’m so excited . And I just can’t hide it.”.  At this moment is the only way I could explain what I was feeling. But, as I write this, it’s Ambrosia and, “How Much I Feel”, supplying the fuel for my curren’t unorganized thoughts.

Me and my music. My music and me. It controls me, it consumes me, engulfs me…The Music in Me...

“Oh no, I’d give it all and
Then I’d, give some more
If you would only love me
Like you had before”

When he finally arrived I was able to pull myself together and feign a bit of composure.  I didn’t immediately jump his bones (the thought was there intertwined with the sweat condensing on my forehead).  I managed a well controlled hug. Then it happened. I felt the moon being overshadowed by the earth. The air was so thick. My friend, slowly, gently, almost innocently kissed my sweaty forehead then my lips before pulling from our embrace.  Two days later the air is still thick.  And, I am not in control of my emotions.

“Oh, take hold of my hand
And all will be forgiven…”

silhouette couple in fashionable clothes on a shiny background

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The kisses didn’t stop with the end of our embrace. My friend showered me with kisses in between conversation and ummm, congress and well after, until I felt myself falling asleep.  Can you imagine the intensity of being softly kissed to sleep? Before Blood Moon Sunday 2019, I couldn’t. Now I can’t shake it and I am not used to not being in control. I can’t sleep. So, I listen to music and, I write….

“Oh no, there’s just something
That I got to say
Sometimes when we make love
I still can see your face
Ooh, just try to recall
When we were as one, yeah”

He missed me. I missed him. We missed us. The Blood Moon and it magnetic forces were in control, consuming us. And now I am believer. Although, I still don’t know what to do about the plethora of intense emotions left in its wake.

I have a 6:30am flight in a few hours back to my grandchildren in Virginia.  I’ll have plenty of time to think about what I will say to him during our next phone call. And, hopefully, the power of the Blood Moon will still have a strong hold over us when I come back to visit next month. Power strong enough to last until the next Blood Moon. Those  moments had intensity I need to relive over and over again because, I never want to forget.

“That’s how much I feel
Feel for you baby
How much I need
I need your touch
How much I live
I live for your lovin’
That’s how much
That’s how much
That’s how much
That’s how much…”

Goodnight. ~The1Essence

http://www.The1Essence.com   www.The1EssenceRadio.com  ww.ordinarywomanmemoirs.com

 

 

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Electricity Junkie

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I woke up this morning to an ice cold apartment. The power was off! And, I was officially a part of the storm of the century that has taken over the awareness of the east coast in the past 36 hours. No power = no heat and ultimately, no fun. No lap top, no mp3 player, no stereo, no television. All I could do was read. So, I picked up a book and tried to entertain myself. Or should I say distract myself from the fact that there were limitations placed on what I could do verses what I wanted to do, and when I wanted to do it.

I didn’t realize how much I depended on electricity to escape constant boredom. In fact, I often criticized my children for not being able to entertain themselves during brief power outages in the past. “Read a book”, I would tell them.

Even as early as yesterday, after watching the local and regional news, I ridiculed the masses for behaving in what I thought was a ridiculous, panic stricken madness by mobbing grocery, and liquor stores; leaving shelves empty of basic food items that “I” thought should have already been stocked in a home.

Karma isn’t as complex as some would like it to seem…and I just had a dose of it disguised as a “reality check”. Hello, my name is The1Essence, and I am an electricity junkie.

My book reading lasted all of 30 minutes before hunger pains reminded me to eat. I had planned a nice warm breakfast of French toast this morning but, even though I have a gas stove and could bypass the electric pilot light with a simple match, the kitchen was dark.

With no windows in the kitchen to provide natural light, I was forced to light candles to see what I was doing. That didn’t last long. I abandoned the French toast idea out of sure frustration. Not because I couldn’t complete my task but, because I didn’t want to without any light from the overhead fixture. Panic began to set in as I wondered if the power company knew the electricity was out in this area.

snowy pathway surrounded by bare tree
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I looked out of the window, scanning the apartment complex to see if it was just my power that was out (paranoia is one symptom of addiction). I was relieved when I saw that others had opened blinds and curtains to let some natural light in. But, I called the Dominion Power anyway. I had to know the “estimated” time of power restoration. The hotline said power should be restored in my area by 5pm; it was now 8:45am. What in the world I do until then? And, what “if” the power was not back on by then? And most importantly, the three pints of Ben & Jerry’s (pistachio and two pints of Berried Treasure) would definitely be reduced to a soupy mess by then! Panic was taking over…I need my “fix” of electricity and I had made up my mind! I was going to find a hotel.

To do that I had to shovel my truck from under 20 inches of snow. I bundled up in my Packer coat, baseball cap and grabbed the shovel, being mindful to remember my cell phone so I could charge it in the car while I cleaned it.

The snow was wet and heavy, unlike the snow from a few weeks ago that was light and fluffy. I had a time moving it! I’m not exactly a “little” woman but, I am not the most athletic. Plus, underneath 19 inch of snow was an inch of ice. So, I had to remove the snow in layers then chop the ice underneath to clear a path around and behind the truck. Then it was time to clear the snow off of the truck! An hour and a half later I was an exhausted, overheated, sweaty mess! But, armed with a fully charged cell phone I was still completed motivated to find a hotel. Inside, the power was still off. But, I couldn’t just pack and run out of the house. My clothes were soaked from sweat so, I had to shower first.

I showered until the hot water ran out then jumped in a pair of sweats and my Wisconsin hooded sweat shirt, threw a few personal items in an overnight bag, packed my lap top and mp3 player, their respective chargers and a few DVDs and prepared to put my four wheel drive to use when the phone rang. It was the “Best Cousin in the World”, Lisa.

Lisa’s mom had a couple of questions for me regarding tax preparation. I informed Lisa of my circumstance and took a tongue lashing from her mom who felt the weather in Virginia was just as bad as in Wisconsin so I might as well just pack up and move back where if “something” happened I would have family near.

“I can’t”, I quipped, “the airports are closed as well as the highways”!

Before she could render me speechless for being a smart ass, the power popped on! All I did for the next five minutes was scream “Thank you Jesus”! Oh, and I accidentally hung up on Lisa.

Next, I ran to the fridge to check on my Ben & Jerry’s. It was fine! I grabbed a spoon and devoured the entire pint of pistachio! I even had the nerve to wrap myself in a blanket while eating it, with the heat blasting in the background, and I settled myself down to enjoy an afternoon of vampire movies! Geeezzzeee, the things we take for granted!

I watched Twilight and the first Underworld movie when I decided that it was time for that French toast. I had just dropped the toast into the skillet when as fate would have it the lights flickered and the power went out again! Luckily for me the stove is gas powered! I scrambled around for candles and saved the toast. Since it was still light outside, I grabbed the book I tried to read earlier and settled my nerves by thinking it wouldn’t be long until the power came back on. Five hours later it was still off and I was going through withdrawals! My cell battery was low, my lap top was battery was dead and I was starting to shiver! I pulled together some blankets and bedded down on the couch preparing for a restless sleep.

Just as I drifted off I heard the furnace click on and then fire up! After six long hours without electricity I was once again with power! Now, I’m turning everything off (except the heat) and going to bed. It’s been a long day for this self proclaimed “electricity junkie”!

orange cat sleeping on white bed
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